I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
