community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
