still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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