I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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