I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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