So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
