My hand turned me down
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
