I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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