You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Found your dick twin last night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
