i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
