i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
