dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize