my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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