butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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