her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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