Non-Jews are for practice
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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