so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
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