guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
