Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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