if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Randomize
