I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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