i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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