The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just googled if crying burns calories
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
