Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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