I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
