Porn is love you can see.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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