the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My breasts were aching with rage.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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