i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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