she was so not down for the gang bang
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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