i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
