it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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