just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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