THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...