We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.