Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium