Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'