no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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