It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
