Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
