we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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