YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
