i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
