Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
