You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
whose parrot is this?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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