This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
