u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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