The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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