i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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