how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
