This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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