he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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