I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just made out with a guy for $7.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
