Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
