That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
