My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
