Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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