He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.