I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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