His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
