sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
