they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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