he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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