I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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