I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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