was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
