Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
