So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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